Thoughts and stuff!

I can't sleep when I should.

The mountains are on my left, full of life.
The ocean below my feet, as I look down.
What's the point on stopping from doing what you want?
There's so much to the world, their thoughts are the least.

I jumped of the cliff, and landed on impulse,
Against my body, the water wraps me.
I did it. It is done.
Their thoughts are the least.
I did what I want, with my thoughts at ease.

I look up above, the sky blanketing the earth-
Of soft clouds, falling down from above.
I feel water on my skin.
I move to the beat of the raindrops.
And then the sun appears.
It warms me with happiness just like the rain that washed away my tears.

I took one last breath, I intoxicated myself with sufficient euphoria,
I opened my eyes, which were recovering my thoughts from insomnia.

I open the door.
I look out and see.
Everyone's afraid.
Of who they should be.

Good night! :)

Like a circle, I contradict myself.

The fish oil nor the b complex are kicking in. Actually my whole nervous system in being an ass now. And also my thoughts.

It's something like this. I'll be studying and then I'll feel sleepy and then I'd want to sleep. So I lie down on bed and I take my phone and while I'm using my phone I then feel like I'm wasting time and maybe I'm not tired so I go back to study. But as I study, I get sleepy. And so I lie in/on (which one please help me if you want) bed (without touching my phone) and then I'd think "16 days left." and then I'd panic. And go to the table and study but I tell myself that I'm actually sleepy while also telling myself that I am not. I don't know. I wanna do well.

I don't even know whether I'm sleepy.. I'm so confused. It's like I study better when I'm chill and then when I'm too chilled I'd panic and everything will suck. So, I guess I need to chill.

But the thing is.. Being chill isn't good and I'm just going round a circle. And when you go round a circle, it never stops because there isn't a boarder for you to stop. It's just a circle going round and round and round.

It won't ever stop. And come to think of it. What am I even worrying about if I'm not gonna do anything about it.

I'm always contradicting myself and I like it somehow!

Btw my current whatsapp picture now :) isn't he cute?!? Alolo.

Keep calm and just do math

I was stuck with an add math question. Actually I was stuck with many. And so I decided to revise the topics of those questions. And I started feeling hot. And then I decided to do something else. So I did biology and then I started feeling like I didn't know anything which then made me feel hot again not that sexy hot I know how to do this bro but it was like the one you learn in bio fight or flight or whatever something like you panic and your heart beat starts increase..

So I'm doing math now. And I feel cool because I'm not panicking. Panicking is the worse!

I guess I'll continue my add math and bio later!

Why are you down and not up

I don't know why I just can't seem to shift my pictures as a start to my post when I use my phone. And I actually prefer how it looks with the pictures on top rather than below. Anyway, I am highly intoxicated by the coffee I had LAST night which made me sleep at 6am and I woke up at 8.30 and forced myself to snooze for an hour. and I had 3/4 and then 1/4 of the coffee which is equavilant to 1 and I spelt equivalent wrongly now I did it correctly. Ok it is equivalent to one because I spilled the 1/4 or maybe 1/2 of the one from the 3/4 all over my table and my notes smell all sweet and they look like old maps. And then I decided to make another cup of coffee but drink 1/4 of it but I only drank 1/2 of the 1/4 which is 1/8 so I actuallydkdkt didn't consume one whole coffee. But still, I got up till 6 and did add math until I felt like I don't know you know that feeling when you're tired and your body feels like its being pulled down by octopuses tentacles.. Just pulling you down. And then you try to escape I don't know and in my case, by doing add Maths. And then I got confused so I lied down and googled ways to sleep after consuming caffein. And here's a tip : think of nothing.

And I started to hear weird noises and I came out with : stacked paper falling. But I guess due to caffeine, and lack of b complex, my nerves were making me think that it could be a frog or a lizard or something scary messing with my notes. But I knew it wasn't so I was scared at the same time I wasn't. It's so hard to describe and I shouldnt waste time.

Anyway, I finished a whole book in a day! Not a story book but a doing wok book. Physics! And I felt good. Because it was raining and stuff. And then in proceeded to do some history notes and I had a banana and tried taking a picture of myself and a banana but it didn't make sense so I didn't save any. And then I had yoghurt while Watching x factor uk in my phone at the window because the weather was good.

Then I wrote my history notes. And then I went for a jog. And I would like to write more about my jog because it's interesting and it's like the climax of this post but I'm tired and sleep is important for someone who had only 3+ hours of it and my coffee is wearing out. School tomorrow school tomorrow . Can't believe there's so few days of it left. Gonna miss you babe yyyyy.

P/s this post title is to blogger. Why.

Hot as in heat.

Well, physics paper was okay today and I didn't know how to do some of the questions because they confused me. And then add math was okay but I didn't have time to complete it. And then moral was fine given the fact that I didn't memorize any values and therefore I'm gonna be immoral, based on my moral marks because I didn't memorize the values word by word. But it's okay I guess, I can't complain much because I can't do much about it. But I hope that they change the system soon because.. Really? Their seeing how much moral values you have by given marks? I mean. It's moral. It's the moral values you show. Not the moral values you memorize.

Well moral was fine, and the weather's pretty hot now! And I had Indian food for lunch, which made me feel fat and guilty and gross therefore I decided to walk home and it felt good (minus my urge to pee/drink water - it's a bad combo. Wanting to pee and drink.$ but I quickly drank water and went to the toilet.

And next I'd have to clean my room and then nap and then do math and history. They are both pretty alright subjects (since history is objective tomorrow, and I've been doing loads of math!) but we'll see how it goes. And I am gonna go for a jog later on. To feel better because my lunch was horrible.

Bye bye!
P/S : here are collages I did with my phone! I'll post more here if I'm free/ and if I'm free to do more! 8-)

All in the mind.

I just had a thought and I really really felt like writing it down. I mean I don't know who might read this. But I thought it would be nice to share my thoughts! 8-)

Okay so I was just thinking. Someone's happiness all comes from the state of someone's mind and how they think. As in happiness is their choice because they are their own individual and they actually can control how they feel by changing their thinking towards something.

And I was also thinking. Happiness is free, and so is sadness. But it is better to feel happy or positive towards something than sulking and wasting your precious time over something that is not worth your time! It's all part of forgetting what has happened, and accepting the things that had happened as the past and just move on and treasure the present. As in right now.

Secondly, people should think more positively about themselves than thinking/assuming the negative things people might think about them. Because at the end of the day, they are no one to judge because they have their life and we have ours so yeah. Everything is just one big cycle.

Well I know that there are days were we are sad for some reason. And I guess it is healthy too. To reflect on ourselves and to get over things and to
discover how we feel and our thoughts and stuff.

So yeah, maigad I feel like a freaking wikiHow to be happy or idk la bye

So this is it :

Start lymphatic system at 4.45 and see where I can finish at 6.

Then, at 6 I'm gonna do my pilates ^^ and then have dinner and shower again and finish all the tips I have.

And if I am done by midnight/still awake I will do past year's.

Guys, I'm feeling super high unmotivated and it's killing me. So I'm gonna take my time and just relax myself from being too unmotivated by posting some pictures and stuff like that.

I did pilates yesterday because my mum bought this 10 minute pilates work out thing a few years ago and he he he he he I enjoyed it I can feel my muscles aching 8-)

Okay so AFTER I blog, I am gonna go study. I don't know why but whenever I study I feel like I can't breathe and my room light is too dark (really!) although I have a table lamp so.. I'm gonna change it later.

I'm also gonna write notes :3 I have been writing notes though (USING RECYCLED PAPER OKAY!) And I guess I study better that way. And then I read somewhere that your studying improves by listening to classical music and it didn't work for me because instead of concentrating on my studying I was telling myself "you are supposed to concentrate" and concentrating on that.

Am I the only one here who finds it so difficult to just sit and read? And let what I read go in my head.

I can't believe that it's trials and I still feel.. nothing.

I screwed up badly for my last papers and it's pretty saddening :(

But anyway, okay, after this I'll be studying the Lymphatic System. I'm gonna make sure I'll be super proud of myself at the end of the day.