Who am I?

Tired of the beats that I used to hate but have grown to enjoy
Under the influence of alcohol
Taking control of your mind
To lose yourself

It's fun they say
It's fun I say
I enjoy the fun

It's part of life I say
Saying that I don't enjoy it would be a lie

I do enjoy it.

But then I contradict myself when I am alone
and when I reflect.
I dislike me when I'm in it.

I love my family.
I treasure my friends.
I value myself.

Who am I?

They say that this is uni/college.

.. but is this me?